The Xmas Factor
by sweet-n-sassy928
Summary: The X Men are putting on a little Christmas pageant- A holiday talent show complete with fun, escapades, and amusing debacles. Full of Christmasy spirit and holiday humor. (The usual ships [Kiotr. Romy.] and then some). Rated T for paranoid safety.
1. Smoldering Like a Yule Log

**A/N: Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year. Which is why I'm writing this story.**

**In the spirit of the season of giving, I would appreciate it if someone would **_**give**_** me the rights to X Men Evolution.** **But, as of right now, I do not own X Men Evo.**

"No." Rogue said.

There are just some things a girl will not do- and this was one of those things. She would like to preserve some sense of dignity. After all the stuff Pryde had put her through already, she was done. Heck to the no.

Kitty's blue eyes widened—big and glossy like a kid staring longingly through a window at that glitter dusted Christmas train set.

"For crap's sake, Kitty," Rogue threw a pillow at Kitty's desperate expression, before returning to her copy of A Christmas Carol (yes, she had gotten into the spirit quite a bit this year… but flipping through the pages… she felt like she'd experienced a parallel venture in an alternate time line or something… totally weird… but she shuddered the thought off and kept a readin').

Kitty snatched the pillow away from her face. "Rogue!" Her arms crossed over her chest. "This is like… important."

"I said no."

"But—"

"No."

Kitty huffed—her lower lip stuck out in a pout (accentuated by the Cranberry lip stain she'd bought specifically for the season) and she planted her hands on her hips. She pulled her ponytail up higher on her head, ready for a showdown. _If she won't listen to reason…_

"I'll tell Logan about the time—"

"He already knows."

_Crap._ Kitty frowned in puzzlement. Blackmailing plans foiled, her mind scurried to scheme.

"Remy said he would do it."

"All the more reason for me not to." Rogue murmured from behind her book, not looking up for a fraction of a second. She turned a page between the red leather binding, her sparkly dark green nails catching the light from one of the mansion's many Christmas trees. Kitty gave her the stare down.

"It's in the spirit of the holidays!"

Rogue sighed. Her eyes shut. Slowly, setting a red and green marker between the pages, she shut the book, exhaling deeply. She was still getting the stare down. She pinched the bridge of her nose. She didn't want to. She really didn't want to. How many more times would she get dragged into this nonsense before she enforced her right to freedom of will?

Meanwhile, Kitty had gone into some stoic lecture about the spirit of giving and blah blah blah blah… And Rogue would never _ever _hear the end of it if she didn't… oh geez. It was happening again.

"If it will make you stop talking, then fine."

Kitty beamed, clapping her hands like she had just put the star on top of the tree.

_**Meanwhile**_

"But… you do not have a talent." Piotr said. He didn't mean it as an insult—it was kind of just one of those things that slipped out without being filtered first. Remy slapped his hand over his heart, deeply wounded. _How could he say such a thing?_

"I'll have you know, I won that contest that one time."

"That was a small scale talent search. In the mall," Piotr said, gently. "You were up against a six year old and a senior citizen."

"Hey," Remy snapped. "That kid was vicious and that grandmother was a beast. I'm telling you, she was just ferocious—I'm talking cut throat."

Piotr blinked. "You won for walking to the center of the stage and winking."

"Hey. Don't disrespect the smolder."

Piotr rubbed his hands down his face. He did not know what was worse: that Remy had just made a _Tangled_ reference, or that he _knew_ that Remy was making a _Tangled _reference. Clearly, living with Kitty had rubbed off on them.

Remy had strolled to the mirror, _smoldering_ to himself to make sure he had not lost his unmatched talent. Of course, he hadn't. How could he when he was that gorgeous? He smoothed his eyebrows before continuing. Piotr rolled his eyes in the background at Remy's all-consuming vanity/ OCD.

"You had one eye in the mirror, as you watched yourself go by."

"And all the girls dreamed that they'd be my partner." Remy winked at himself again.

"But apricot is not your color."

"It really isn't." He contemplated his clear olive skin for a moment.

They looked at each other in horror.

"Too much time with Kitty—"

"Indeed." Piotr said. Not that he minded, but her affinity for oldies and strange knack for color coordinating were, well, eccentricities.

Remy went back to admiring himself, before snapping his fingers.

"I've got it."

"Got what?" Pete's brow wrinkled.

"I know what our talent is."

"What?"

"For the show."

"But I have not even given my consent."

"We just need some other chumps to—"

"I do not think I want to be one of those chumps."

"It'll be perfect."

"Remy."

But Rems was already half way to the door, pulling that signature trench coat over his sexy man shoulders.

"You're the best Petey. I'm telling you." He pointed at him like Piotr was just doing him a solid. "The Chaton is going to love you forever."

"But—" the door was already slamming. He sighed. This would surely make a proper idiot of him.

**A/N: So, I just realized these chapters will probably be pretty short. But, on the bright side, updates should be quick=) I don't own the lyrics to "You're So Vain"**

**Anddddd… if this didn't give you enough Christmas joy, check out my other Christmas story "An Xmas Carol" ;)**

**Review guys. Please. It will bring joy to my world.**


	2. Sparkles, Frost, and Christmas Socks

**A/N: So... you already know what I'm going to say, that I don't own X Men Evolution and what not...**

"Think outrageous. Like, really over the top festive. And sparkly."

Kitty _would_ take charge of planning this escapade. She sat next to Pete as he sketched out what the stage should look like. A small smile pulled at the corners of his mouth. "I do not think I can draw sparkles in pencil."

Kitty burst out in a nervous giggle. _Goober Kitty to the rescue. "_I'm sure it will be like, totally perfect." She nodded like an overgrown bobble-head. "I trust you."

He responded with a nod and a smile that made her insides feel like spice-cake batter. Geez he was gorgeous. "I'm going to... um... I'm going to-"

"Practice?" He offered with a crisp smile that would melt the snow outside.

"Right," she giggled again, lingering off so that she almost walked into one of the house's million Christmas trees.

_**Meanwhile**_

Remy launched a pile of cards from one hand to the other, not one corner out of place as they fluttered from his right to his left hand. Being a self-proclaimed Mr. Christmas, they were naturally holiday themed- with holly and trees instead of spades and diamonds, wreaths and candy canes in place of clubs and hearts.

"Johnny, I need your help."

"Oi mate, if you're trying to stalk Rogue again-"

"I don't stalk her." Remy frowned. Seriously- you follow around a girl to get her to fall in love with you a few dozen times and suddenly it's like you're some psychotic creeper. Geez. Come on guys: don't playa hate.

John quirked a brow at that crazy Cajun, because if a man had ever creeped on a woman, Remy LeBeau had creeped on that poor girl like no other.

"She loves me. She just doesn't know it yet."

John kept giving him the same quirked brow. (Fyi readers: when John, Pyro, crazy Australian with the fire problem, thinks you are creeping, you should probably rethink your approach. Because you're probably weirding her (or him) out. Not that I'm judging. I'm just saying. As like, a cyber unofficial wing-man. I say what I say because I care. So stop creeping.)

"Rogue has nothing to do with this." Remy's face turned into a flat line.

Still getting that quirked look.

"Will you enter the talent show with Pete and me?"

"But... you don't have a talent." John frowned.

Remy glowered. These people knew nothing. (It's okay Remy. You have your good looks. Your thievery. Your awesome mutant and flirting abilities. Who needs a talent?).

"You owe me."

John frowned, mulling over all his debts. "No I don't."

Dang. Remy hadn't expected him to be organized enough to call his bluff.

"It's in the spirit of the season."

At this, Pyro stopped. He lifted his pants just past his ankles to get a view of his festive red and green Santa socks. What Remy did not know, was that John also fancied himself a Mr. Christmas. He couldn't say no- it wasn't in him, what with Remy bringing up the holidays and what not.

"Alright mate, what are we doing?"

Remy grinned. A grinny grin that was... grinny.

_**Meanwhile**_

Kitty paced back and forth. _Come on Kitty. Think. You can do it._ There had to be a way that she could break this gently, in a way that would keep her from quitting and making this dream unattainable. Nervous, she pulled at the ends of her hair.

"Kitty," Rogue said, folding her hands in her lap.

"Hm, yeah, uh-huh, yes Rogue?" Kitty nodded like a toddler who just ate an entire gingerbread house.

Rogue's brow crinkled. In her most patient voice, she continued. "Is there something you aren't telling me?"

"What? Not tell you something? No, never, why would I even do that?" Kitty twittered. Her left eye twitched, just a little. She tugged at the end of her red and white candy cane striped blouse. "Do you want some hot chocolate or something?" She coughed, sucking in her lower lip as Rogue stared at her.

"The worst is over you know. You got me to agree to this." Rogue rolled her green eyes. But then maybe it was just Kitty's usual spastic-ness accompanied by too much Christmas spirit or whatever.

"Funny you should say that..."

And that was when Emma Frost walked in.


	3. For the Love of Christmas

**A/N: I don't own X-Men Evolution**

"I'm done." Rogue tossed her hands in the air.

Emma put her hands on her hips.

"Is there a problem?" She fluffed her thick blonde hair up around her shoulders.

Rogue glared back. The winter white look was enough to make her gag. Emma smiled a sarcastic, knowing little half smile.

"Rogue, Emma's going to be in our group for the talent show." Kitty said with an innocent smile. At least she could breathe now (lying wasn't good for her respiratory system).

"I gathered." Rogue said. "Which is why I am leaving our group."

Flustered, Kitty looked to Emma with desperate eyes.

"I'm so offended," Emma said under a poker face.

"Not my problem," Rogue grunted, waving them off as she sauntered toward the door.

Kitty stamped her foot, with another desperate look. _Help please._ Emma rolled her eyes. She glanced over Rogue's lackluster wardrobe: dark green, three quarter sleeve slouchy t shirt, black skinny jeans, and a pair of dirty Chucks. Emma sighed- good thing she was pretty much a miracle worker.

"You wouldn't have been able to handle it anyway." She shrugged, inspecting her flawless manicure.

"Excuse me?" Rogue swiveled as she was about to make her exit. A rush of angry heat flushed over her like getting too close to a fireplace.

"The routine is really... feminine."

Rogue's eye almost twitched. "Are you saying I'm not feminine?"

Emma shrugged again. "If the Chucks fit."

This time, Rogue definitely twitched. "Do not go there hootchi." She inched closer. "Because if you go there, I'm going to get there, and when I get there you will be sorry that you went there instead of staying here."

"Rogue," Kitty worked her soothing kindergarten teacher voice.

"I did not agree to this so that little tart could boss me around like Queen of the icecapades." Rogue hissed. She glared over at Emma, exhaling sharply through her nose. "I am plenty feminine. And whatever you are planning, I can keep up with."

"Good," Emma said, innocent, condescending smile across her face.

And before Rogue could figure out that she'd totally just been bamboozled by reverse psychology, there was a tap on the open wooden door. "Sorry I'm late, but Warren and I were practicing for-" Betsy, rocking a cranberry sweater dress and charcoal leggings, glanced from Emma, to Kitty, to Rogue. "Did I miss something?" Her eyes widened as she bit on her lower lip.

"Thank goodness you're here," Kitty sighed, grateful that Betsy's balanced nature would stop World War Three (or at least put a stall to it).

It quieted- to an awkward level of stillness that should never occur between four females.

"Let's get started." Emma crossed her arms over herself.

"Who died and left you cheer captain?" Rogue snapped.

"Um-" Kitty glanced from the blonde to the Goth.

_This is going to be a long several days._ Betsy sighed.

**_Meanwhile_**

Gambit still needed one more chump if this was going to work. It would have to be an idiot- someone who was good at mindlessly taking orders and executing them properly and efficiently without question. Since none of those happened to be lying around the mansion, a regular idiot would have to do.

Yes, unfortunately, desperate times called for... sinking lower than you ever thought you would be capable of going.

He sat at the door- debating not knocking after all. They could make it work with just three. It wouldn't be the same, true, but was it worth it? He held his fist up to the door. _You can still walk away-_

But, the door swung open before he could come to his senses. Bobby, with a Santa hat draped over his stupid head and a string of white Christmas lights tangled in his fingers, stared back at Remy. He invited the Prince of Thieves into his "humble abode;" Remy, without fear of seeming pretentious or politically incorrect, sneered at the mess on the bed, before using his boot to kick away some of the peasant's dirty clothes. _Mental note: bleach boot._

"I'm offering you the opportunity of a lifetime," (so he was stretching the truth- it had never done any harm before).

"But... you don't have a talent."

Really? Really? Three times in a row? _For the love of Christmas. _Gambit gritted his jaw.

Bobby continued to struggle to untangle the mess of Christmas lights as Remy tried to make a beautiful speech about peace on Earth and goodwill toward men- which was rather irksome, considering that Bobby couldn't listen and fiddle at the same time, and it really was a _beautiful_ speech.

"Give me that." Remy snatched the lights away from the Popsicle. He sighed, untangling the lights as he summoned his patient voice. "Bobby,"

"Yeah?"

"Do you want to prove yourself?"

Bobby lit up a little inside. "Yes."

"Do you want to become one of the bros?"

He nodded slowly. It had only been his life long dream since like... forever.

"Then shut up and do as your told."

**A/N: Ahh... now we are beginning to cook with peanut oil. Can you believe that I've updated three days in a row? It's all that Christmas spirit bubbling over inside of me. If you would like to review, that would be appreciated=)**


	4. A Special Holiday Prize

**A/N: I do not own X Men Evolution. Stop rubbing salt in my wounds.**

"So... do you think you're going to sign up for the Holiday Talent Spectacular?" Bobby said, chomping at a mouthful of milky Cocoa Puffs. He smeared a slovenly dribble of chocolatey milk from his chin with his wrist. After several moments of only masticating to disturb the silence, he picked up the box and began digging around for the 'Special Holiday Prize' inside.

"Do you have to stick your grubby paws in there like that?" Logan growled. For the first time that morning, he looked away from his paper. Of all the people to be alone in the kitchen with, it had to be Bobby. Clearly, somewhere along the line, he had gone wrong. Severely, severely wrong.

"It's not like you eat them." Bobby crammed a handful of the dry cereal in his mouth, stuffing his other hand in the box. Logan yanked the box off Bobby's hand (because, I'll let you in on a little secret, Logan _did_ eat the Cocoa Puffs. Secretly, of course, because real rugged minimalist men only eat... wheat germ and black coffee- or something of the like- for breakfast). But, Bobby managed to rummage out the special surprise. His fingers emerged with a square paper pencil topper. Victory! Until he realized that it was a pencil topper and that was lame.

Dejected, he threw the square back in the box, so that the next sucker to go hunting for it could be equally disappointed.

"So are you entering?"

Some people just don't know when to let go. Bobby was one of those people.

"Do I look like the type to go prancing around in some holiday_ pageant _like some little boy band ice fairy?" Logan snapped his newspaper taught. "And next year I'll dress like Justin Bibere for Halloween." He indulged in a sinister half smile.

"Bieber."

"Excuse me?" Logan flipped down his newspaper.

Bobby swung his spoon around. "You said _Buy-beer_. It's Bee-ber." He shrugged.

Logan opened his mouth, about to break all anger management training, when Kitty bounced in- decked out in a festive red sweater, with a big white poinsettia in her glossy brown ponytail.

"Good morning!" She said in a sunshine voice that could turn icicles to water. "Ooo, special holiday prize," she said, picking up the box of Cocoa Puffs, digging through the cereal. Bobby smirked at her soon to come disappointment.

Logan pinched the bridge of his nose. This was the problem with being in the same room with other people.

Kitty yanked out the pencil topper, her nose wrinkling up, unable to believe they had the nerve to build her hopes by writing 'Prize' on the outside. "How chintzy." She too shoved the topper back in the box.

Logan rolled his eyes.

"We need you to do an act." Kitty said, her eyes big and bright and lit with the kind of holiday spirit she hoped would render him incapable of saying no.

"What?"

"So I'll see you at rehearsal at three." She bounced up and away before there could be any argument (or explosion).

Behind her, Bobby's snickering rung through the kitchen like jingle bells. Good thing she'd already talked to the professor, to insure that Logan's Christmas bonus would depend on his compliance. She congratulated herself on a job well planned, when a certain someone (_the _certain someone) happened to come down the hall.

"Hi Pete." She beamed; her gold earrings caught the light of the cinnamon candle burning next to her.

"Hello Katya," he brightened at seeing her.

"How is your guys' practice coming?"

His face dropped. "You know how Remy is."

She pursed her lips to hold down a laugh, having a vision of Gambit with a bullhorn, telling everyone to come up to his level of awesomeness.

"And yours?" Pete rubbed his hand down the back of his neck.

Kitty paled a bit. "Let's just say..." She tried to think of a kind, metaphorical way of alluding to the tension- one that was not particularly blunt. "Emma and Rogue are going to kill each other." Unfortunately, there was no gentle way of summing that up.

He grinned. "I am sure it will be all right. You have a knack for making these things work."

Her heart warmed at his confidence in her- but seriously, there was going to be a beat down, and it wasn't a question of _if_, it was a question of when.

"Sure," she said, nodding at him to convince herself.

**A/N: Aha. Yet another update=) thank you guys for the lovely reviews. Please, keep them coming. They brighten my spirits.**

**Only like, six days till Christmas! whoop whoop  
**


	5. Slutty Santas: The Holiday Cliche

**A/N: Guys. I'm like, so super hyper because like, it's almost Christmas and it's like, the most wonderful time of the year. But like... I still don't own X Men Evolution.**

"Bigger!" Kitty said.

She had been through several agonizing days of rehearsal, trying to be Switzerland while Rogue and Emma did the whole "if looks could kill" thing, while trying to put together a production worthy of being titled an extravaganza. If she'd taken Rogue's approach ("_Put up some glittery drapes and call it a day_") it might not have been such a feat. But this was Kitty, and she was not about to toss together some mediocre display just to save time.

"More glitter on those snowflakes," she snapped as she strolled by Tabby and Amara, who were painting gold sparkly paint onto various sized snowflake cutouts. Tabby rolled her eyes. "I saw that!" Director Kitty snapped. She glared an ice-laden dirty look at Tabs. "I will not have my production undermined by a couple of sloppy snowflakes."

"Your production?" Bobby's brow furrowed. He was currently up on a ladder, helping hang one of burgundy velvet curtains (dusted with sparkles, duh) that would hide the stage.

Bobby. Stupid, stupid Bobby.

Her eyes narrowed, her features taking on a dangerous hue. "Yes. MY production. Did you organize the stage?"

"No,"

"Arrange the talent?"

"Well,"

"Spend tedious hours planning how the two would come together in a tasteful, glittery, color coordinated explosion of awesome?"

"Hey, no need to-"

"IT'S MY PRODUCTION!"

Everything in the room fell silent. Kitty's hands balled into tight fists at her sides, her entire being tensed. Clearly, someone was under a little bit of stress at the moment. She sucked in a series of deep, soothing breaths. _Calm thoughts, Kitty, calm thoughts_.

"Now," she said, plastering a smile on her face. They stared at her, still unable to speak. She looked up at Kurt, who was frozen in the middle of the stage, holding a string of gold Christmas lights. He winced when her blue eyes fell on him.

"I didn't do it I swear!" He shielded his face, ready for her wrath.

Her face flattened. _Really? _"Just hang the lights Kurt."

The space around her was still frozen in time. Her eyes circled the room.

"Does it look like this is break time?" She planted her hands on her hips (_Oh geez. Just stole a Logan line)_. "Dress rehearsal is in three hours!"

The teens turned it up to fast-forward, making up for the lost time and then some- a flurry of sparkles, lights, and wreaths. In her defense, if they were more competent morons, she wouldn't be having these kinds of outbursts. She sighed, sitting down with a mini-can of metallic gold shimmer to begin dusting. Just seeing the shiny specks calmed her. She dragged her wrist against her forehead, shoving a stray strand of hair from her face.

That was when she saw Betsy speed sauntering in from the back door.

"Betsy," she said, _the only one around here who doesn't need a babysitter._ Betsy and Warren's act was one of the few polished routines ... well, it was the only polished routine.

"We've got... issues." Betsy bit her lower lip.

All traces of color drained from Kitty's face.

_**Slightly later**_

_Please be alive. Please both be alive_. Kitty power walked through the door, phasing as she went.

They weren't yelling. Which might have been a good sign. If they weren't giving each other death stares. Kitty pushed a long breathe through her lips before tip-toeing forward. A grimace like smile plastered itself on her face.

"What seems to be the problem here ladies?" She said in a sing songy voice.

They continued to glare at each other, before turning to glare at Kitty.

"Have you seen the outfits she has us wearing?" Rogue said, keeping a level voice.

One of those knowing smiles pulled at the corners of Emma's lips.

"Well," Kitty twittered, a simpering little twitter that drew a confused, scrutinizing face from Rogue. "Funny, see about that... Ha. Ha."

"Kitty," Rogue folded her arms over her chest. "You're babbling. The way you do when you're avoiding telling me something."

"I know they seem bad..." Kitty said.

"Slutty Santa costumes Kitty? Really?" Rogue snapped. "Aren't you the one who said that was totally cliche?"

Betsy sighed. She should have just stuck to her gig with Warren. _Oh dear_.

"I told you- she wouldn't be feminine enough." Emma, the peanut gallery, said in her cool tone.

Rogue soured. She was really going to have to get over her ego. But today was not that day. She snatched up the slivers of fabric, grumbling something about bah-humbugs as she went to try on the contraption before the dress rehearsal.


	6. Good Tidings of Great Humor

**A/N: We wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas, but we don't own Evo**.

Twas two nights before Christmas, and all through the house, a Kitty was stirring, like a psychotic mouse,

Needless to say, rehearsal did not bode well, it was quite the disaster, and dear Katherine could tell,

She needed a miracle, some mystical fairy dust, something to save this show, or it would be a total bust...

Will this whole chapter rhyme? Never you fear, I intend to stop, that's enough for this year.

* * *

Kitty hunched over herself, nausea rolling through her stomach. That eggnog was attempting a comeback- why she drank it in the first place, she couldn't even fathom; it always seemed to calm Logan's nerves (but then, she didn't realize he was drinking _special_ eggnog). But if it was yucky going down, she didn't even know what it would be like coming back up. She fanned herself with her clip board. _Oh dear_.

"We're on in five minutes people." She called, glancing around the curtain to her audience: groups of family and friends, all invited for their Christmas pageant. She death-gripped her clipboard, fanning herself like she was having a hot flash- which she might have actually been having.

"Katya?"

_Crap_- that definitely wasn't going to help her whole hot flash scenario. She wheezed in a loud, raspy breath.

"Are you alright?"

All her answers dried up. Until he gave her a reassuring smile, and she felt like things had a chance of being okay (or, at least a little less disastrous).

"It will be okay," Piotr squeezed her hand. Gush!

She nodded, sucking in a slightly calmer breath.

"Are you ready?" She glanced over at Logan. She was seriously going to regret making him the opening act- but really, the degenerates she was working with didn't really give her much of a choice.

He grunted something of a response, and stomped out on the stage.

* * *

Logan, dressed in a long white rob, with- were those... wings? Angel's wings? And was that a... halo? A gold halo, hovering over his head.

Yes. That was Logan. And he was, in fact, dressed like an angel.

And he was standing- in the middle of the stage- with nothing but the spotlights- for several awkward moments.

"Jamie!" Kitty hissed from back stage. "The introduction!"

Behind the curtain, Jamie scrambled for a microphone. A loud hiss, then a pop sounded through the speakers. Kitty closed her eyes, _breathe. _

"And- behold," Jamie cleared his throat. "I mean- And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night." He read slowly, drawling over every word. That is, until Kitty rounded a pointed finger in the universal sign for hurry-up. At which point, he sped up to sound like a chipmunk on a sugar high. "An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them," He inhaled, letting the gust suck through the mic. Kitty drug a hand down her face. "And they were terrified." (If Logan was the Angel of the Lord, I'd be pretty terrified too. Just saying.)

"Aren't you Jewish?" Remy said, cramming a last minute sugar cookie in his face.

"What?" She hissed.

"So... isn't this a conflict of interests?"

She glared at him. "I needed an introduction." She snapped.

"Why didn't you have Warren do it?"

"That's so racist Remy." She hissed.

"But I thought Logan was already going to-"

"He's still doing that act," Kitty said, eyes hot glued to the stage. "But he had to be onstage for a full five minutes to get that bonus."

Remy smirked, shaking his head as he went to go get dressed.

Meanwhile, Logan picked up where Jaime left off.

"Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people." Funny, the _do-not-be-afraid_ thing sounded totally wrong coming from his mouth. There was a sudden lurch, as the harness system secured around him heaved him up, to give the impression that he was floating. "Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; He is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger." Logan dangled in the middle of the stage. As if he couldn't have looked more ridiculous, he began to spin (not of his own accord- the rope holding him up began to twist. Which was only made worse by his attempts to straighten himself).

Jamie abruptly picked up the mic. "Suddenly a great company of the heavenly hosts appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,"

One more line. Just one more line and they could just cut the lights and stop this misery. Kitty held her breath.

"Glory to God in the highest heaven,and on earth peace to those on whom his favor-"

The ropes supporting Logan were apparently unprepared to hold an adamantium beast though. With one loud pop, the harness burst, and Logan fell to ground, with a loud grunt.

Gaping- that was all anyone could do. Kitty could have cried.

"Rests." Logan grunted as he peeled himself off the floor.

The curtain could not close fast enough.

**A/N: I couldn't resist (evil smiley face). The greatest story ever told had to make it in here somewhere=) all in fun my dears. all in fun. Clearly, I do not own the biblical passages in this chapter either.  
**


	7. Baby It's Cold Outside

**A/N: Two updates... in one day? Is this even possible? Consider it my gift to all of you.**

**Nothing has changed in the past few hours, there has been no Christmas miracle to grant me the rights to X-Men Evolution. **

Kitty sat behind the curtain, wheezing. If she was nauseated before, she was dying now. Her stage set up was rockin', all glittery and lit up, but no one could possibly have appreciated it after the "_Angel of the Lord" _fell from the heavens. The only good news was that he hadn't made a hole in the stage under him.

Thank goodness, the next act up was one that was _guaranteed _not to fail- there was too much true love going on between them for anything bad to happen (true love conquers all things- even inevitably catastrophic holiday pageants. Haven't you read the story books?).

Betsy and Warren sat on stools, angling to face each other and the crowd, wearing matching cream colored sweaters. The music started up, and the crowd stopped murmuring about the past debacle.

"_I really can't stay,"_

"_But baby it's cold outside_,"

"_I have to go away,_"

"_Baby it's cold outside_,"

"_This evening has been_,"

"_Been hoping that you'd drop in_,"

"_So very nice_,"

"_I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice_," Warren reached over to grab her hand, and just a hint of blush lit her cheeks. Really, they were so adorable there just weren't words for it. The audience collectively '_Awwww_'ed on the inside- warmth and love and something like emotional hot chocolate radiating from the stage. I'm telling you: _Conquers all things_.

Kitty sighed: if everything else failed tonight, at least she would have one golden memory of a flawless rendition of "Baby It's Cold Outside."

"Almost makes you want to fall in love doesn't it?"

"Go away Bobby," Kitty said absently, refusing to leave the vicarious bliss she was living. For goodness sake, when Warren sang the line about her eyes being like starlight you could just tell he actually meant it; and then Betsy smiled the realest smile that has ever been smiled, and her eyes really did light up like stars. It was enough to make a girl want to sigh. And he was still holding her hand, sheltering it just slightly behind them like he wanted it to be a secret. So cute. So so cute.

At the end of their song, and the spotlight subsided, Warren leaned down and kissed her temple. And that was the end of Kitty's vicarious bliss. Now, she was throttled back to reality.

"You're up," she said over to Scott. Ugh. If she wasn't afraid he'd tattle on her, his might have been one of the acts she omitted. She couldn't watch this. She just couldn't. Conveniently, now was her allotted time to go get dressed...

**_Meanwhile_**

"Wow."

Rogue was booking down the hall out of the dressing room. The boots, the slut skirt, the camisole with the fluffy white stuff along the collar. Her plan had been to walk too fast for anyone to get a close up. However, this is a story, which means it has to be interesting, which means that her sense of timing was unusually terrible.

"Save it Remy," she grunted.

"You look... festive," he stared.

She looked him over. "The Temptations called- they want their suits back."

Remy looked down at himself: black pants and shoes, white button down shirt and black tie, and a cranberry colored jacket with a black lapel. "Oh haha Cherie. You're hilarious. The 90's called, they want that joke back." He straightened his jacket. "I look sharp."

Rogue rolled her eyes, continuing to trudge down the hall, clutching her Santa hat at her side.

_**Meanwhile**_

Scott, a maroon turtleneck folded up around his throat, coughed. In a delayed reaction, Jamie slammed down on the play button.

At which point, a dying cat started singing the most awful rendition of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" known to man. But wait, that was no suffering animal- it would appear it was the boy on stage, belting out the Justin Bieber version of the Christmas tune.

The crowd glanced awkwardly toward the floor, the ceiling, their cell phones- anywhere to avoid looking at the stage.

Behind the curtain, John and Bobby exchanged a snicker. And, unfortunately, Kitty got back just in time for the big finale. Everything inside of her winced. Bobby and John held their sides, guffawing at the miserable performance.

"This isn't funny!" Kitty hissed.

Which just made them laugh harder. Before he even finished up that last falsetto, Kitty waved like a maniac to bring down the curtain. She pinched the bridge of her nose.

_Railroad through_. Kitty breathed. _Just railroad your way through_.


	8. Jingle Belle Throw Down

**A/N: I'm... dreamin, of an Evo, Christmas. One like none I've ever known; where Wolvie's claws, glisten; and readers, listen, to hear, laughter as they go... (read that to the melody of "White Christmas" and it will make more sense... hopefully)**

**Still don't own X-Men Evolution.**

Somewhere in a dark corner, Logan downed a flask of Christmas spirits- er... I mean... regular, average, totally normal eggnog- in an attempt to prepare himself for the debauchery he was going to have to engage in in the near future. Remember that bonus, Logan. Just remember that bonus. Thank goodness for intermissions.

Kitty helped Betsy straighten out her Santa hat. For once, Emma was not wearing all white- strictly in the spirit of the season. Rogue stretched out the pathetic camisole. They needed to get this done, so she could go put some real clothes back on.

The girls waited just off stage, the first act scheduled after the intermission.

Excitement bubbled in Kitty's chest. It didn't matter that the rest of this evening had been calamitous, that she was trying to create a work of art among barbarians, or that Jean had performed the most awkward rendition of "Santa Baby" that had ever made anyone need to bleach their eyeballs. She was about to make a dream come true.

"You know what I don't get,"

"What Bobby? What don't you get now?" Kitty rolled her eyes. _As if that list couldn't go on forever._

"You're Jewish."

"We've already established this." She rubbed her temple. Rogue snickered next to her.

"So... how can you be dressed up like a Santa?"

"What?" Kitty burst. "Was I supposed to go out there singing "Dreidel Dreidel" or something?"

Rogue grabbed her by the elbow, guiding her to the stage. The four girls lined up in the middle of the floor. The curtain lifted and...

Nothing happened.

Kitty turned from her slot on the end. "Jamie!" She hissed through the gap in the curtains.

"Introducing Santa's Little Helpers, performing to Jingle Bell Rock."

Another silence. This is what you get when you leave a bunch of incompetents to run the show.

Finally, a loud pop sounded through the speakers and the music started. Kitty beamed. Rogue scowled. Betsy wore a sweet but sassy smile. And Emma rocked her usual Regina George look. That's right: this was a _Mean Girls_ moment. With the choreography mimicked down to a t. Right up to the point where the music stopped and the girls and the crowd started singing.

And just when Kitty thought everything was going perfectly...

Emma bumped into Rogue on one of the saunter forwards. Panic eyes jolted from Kitty's skull to Betsy.

"Oh heck no." Rogue muttered, body checking Emma on the way back, knocking the ice-princess just off balance enough to stumble forward. "Oops," Rogue hissed.

Another body check from Emma. Which made Rogue stumble; being that she avoided prostitute heels, she was unaccustomed to stumbling in stiletto boots, and she fell straight on her butt. Betsy and Kitty, in a panic gawked at their fallen comrade.

That was it. The last straw. We just exited the girl world and entered the animal world. Rogue tromped up and grabbed a wad of Emma's bottle blond hair. Cue cat fight. Betsy made the unfortunate move of trying to break them up, getting sucked into the battle. A series of gasps echoed from the audience.

Kitty could only gape. Similar to the flock of people back stage.

"Do something!" Remy snapped. He yanked the curtain pulley system out of Kurt and Jamie's hands, heaving down the curtain as fast as it would go. He raced down the stage, pulling Rogue away from Emma. Restraining her was harder than he expected it would be. Emma gave a haughty tug to the end of her camisole. Betsy smoothed her hair as Warren pulled a consoling arm around her.

"When ladies disagree, they say it with their eyes." Remy said, looking from Rogue to Emma. "Now: it's the holidays. It's almost Christmas. Kitty is going to have a heart attack." He looked sternly between them. "You two ought to be ashamed." His best fatherly voice hissed between them. They folded their arms over their chests. "We still have the group number. Do you think you can be civil for that?"

Evil silence.

Remy shook his head. "What's the plan boss? The show must go on." His eyes turned to Kitty.

She stood, frozen as the snow outside. She shook her head.

"Come on Chaton," he said.

Another one of her wheezy breathes rattled her chest. Seeing as it could _not _get worse, she collected herself. He was right. She would cry over her broken dreams later.

But, the thing is... when you start thinking things can't get worse... that's when they usually do.

**A/N: Guys! Tomorrow is Christmas=) I'm so excited!**

**Please review. Please please please!**


	9. Last Christmas And Other Fiascos

**A/N: Joy to the world, Wolvie is here, he's come, to cause, great fear! Let every mutant, run and scream, and let his terror reign, and let his terror reign, and let, and let his terror reign. **

**I don't own X Men Evolution.**

"Where is he?!" Kitty half shrieked. She was proud of herself: she had yet to turn into a dismembered Jell-o jiggler in spite of the horror that had occurred this nightmare before Christmas.

Sam was out on stage, putting on a holiday themed stand-up routine. Meanwhile, Kitty was on the hunt for Logan.

"What are you squawking about now half-pint?" He grunted from behind her. She jumped like she just encountered the Ghost of Christmas Past.

"You're on." She said, shoving him forward as Sam waved and exited.

She yanked the mic from an incompetent Jamie.

"Now introducing Logan, singing a holiday favorite." She spat. Just Logan, Kurt and Jamie, Remy's group, and the group number, and then she could go cry herself to sleep.

A melancholy 80's tune echoed through the speakers. Logan stood, awkward, in the center of the stage, clutching the mic in both hands. The raging Wolverine, encountering... stage fright?

"_Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you gave it away."_

"Dang Chaton," Remy said backstage, trying to contain his chuckles. "That was cold. You couldn't have given him some Bing Crosby or something?"

For one of the few times that night, a genuine smirk rose on her face. "He picked it himself."

Remy's face flattened.

"_Merry Christmas- I wrapped it up and sent it. With a note saying, I loved you I meant it. Now I see, what a fool I've been- but if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again."_

Logan sang. And was that... did he have tears in his eyes? Yes- those were man-tears building.

"_A face on a lover with a fire in his heart, A man under cover but you tore me apart_,"

Oh dear. Those Christmas spirits had gotten to him. He was belting it out like he owned it.

"Who trampled his heart?" Remy said. He wasn't even laughing anymore. He just couldn't stop staring.

Kitty smirked.

By some miracle, they made it to the end. But when the music stopped, he was still singing the chorus. And repeated it, twice, before Pete had to go out there and drag him stumbling from the stage.

"Gave her my heart. And she gave it away," Logan gasped.

"I know," Pete said, giving Logan an awkward pat on the back.

_Thank you_, Kitty mouthed to Piotr. He nodded graciously. She smiled, grabbing Jamie by the scruff of the neck and shoving him out to join Kurt.

She fumbled the mic to her lips.

"And now, please welcome Kurt and Jamie, performing "Ring Christmas Bells," on the handchimes."

For a second, she breathed. Kurt and Jamie's act was (surprisingly) one of the few polished acts- ridiculous as it might have been. They got pretty into it and managed to put on a pretty good show. Good enough to make the audience forget about the debacles that had just occurred? Doubtful. But a girl could dream.

However, you all know that isn't going to be smooth waters now.

Jamie, while picking up on of the silver chimes, felt a tickle in his nose. Unfortunately, he did not know that trick where you say banana to yourself a million times and it goes away. Instead, he sneezed, losing his grip on the chime.

The bell flew up behind him, hitting a strand of lights that decorated the drapes above them. The dense little instrument cracked one of the clear, hot bulbs linked to the heavy curtain.

Kurt was still chiming like a madman; Jaime froze in his place. Kitty stared up at the curtain.

It happened slowly- just a spark at first. Which slowly grew into a flame the size of a birthday candle. Which then exploded into a raging fireball.

"Fire!" Pyro yelled. He ran out on the stage.

"John no!" Kitty yelped. She grabbed a fire extinguisher from under the control panel, frantically pulling at the nozzle and safety latch as she raced to the flaming curtain.

John proceeded to calm the flames. It didn't register that he was actually _putting out_ the fire until the latch finally burst. The nozzle sprayed smoky white foam uncontrollably over the stage. Kitty didn't have time to get a grip on the black tube. The extinguisher finally ran out of juice when Kurt ended the number with one last dramatic _Ding_ and the front curtain dropped.

**A/N: We are drawing to a close here guys=) hope you're enjoying your Christmas Eve.**


	10. Merry, And a Little Brighter

**A/N: It's here! It's here! It's finally here! =)) **

**I don't own X Men Evolution**

Kitty stared down at her self, covered in the sticky foam from the fire extinguisher. She blinked up at the stage.

"Up... in flames," she said. "My production... went up in flames." She held her hand against her chest. This was a dream. A terrible, awful nightmare that wouldn't seem to end.

"Chaton," Remy waved a hand in front of her face but it didn't seem to register. "Chaton?" He turned to glare at Rogue. _Do something_, he mouthed as she stared at him.

Seeing the tragedy scrawled across her friends face, she sighed. This was the most wonderful time of the year, and it just got really un-wonderful for Kitty. Ugh... she was going to have to be a good friend and find a way to fix this.

"Kitty," she said in an unusually soft voice. "We've got to finish the show."

Kitty, still in a protective catatonic state, stared into oblivion.

"Kitty?" Rogue placed a hand on Kitty's shoulder- an unusual gesture of affection.

A crowd of mutant teens had gathered around them. Even Emma sauntered over with a look of concern.

"The only one who can put this back together is you," Rogue sighed. A series of reassuring remarks piled together from the kids.

Kitty glanced around- brightening smiles from friends who believed in her... and suddenly, _click_ (yes guys, brace yourself for a random moral lesson that has sprung forth from nowhere). This was what the season was about- not glitter and pageants and displays of talent: but, being with the people who care about you.

Kitty smiled a little. Pete helped her to her feet.

"Well, I guess the show must go on," she shrugged.

"That's the spirit," Remy nudged her on the chin. "Don't worry- our act is up next."

Kitty sighed. She would have to take that on faith; somehow, Remy and his group had weaseled out of dress rehearsal.

"Let's finish up people." She said, picking up her clipboard with sticky fingers. Her performers cheered and clapped, as Remy, John, Piotr, and Bobby lined up on stage.

The curtains lifted, and the four broke into a four part harmony. Like an old school barbershop quartet.

"_Just fall in love with me- this Christmas. There's nothing else that I will need- this Christmas,"  
_

They even had a cute little set of old school dance moves where they snapped and stepped in unison. And each of them took a solo while the sang Michael Buble's "Cold December Night."

"_Won't be wrapped under a tree, I want something to last forever, so kiss me on this cold December night_,"

And thankfully- _thankfully_- Remy did have a talent. They all did. The first spotless act since Warren and Betsy. Kitty could have swooned; the audience, for the first time in several acts, didn't appear horrified.

As the boys finished up their adorableness, the rest of the performers filtered out. Time for the big group number.

Kitty approached the mic, still gummy, with tangles in her hair from the extinguisher incident.

"Now, I know you're all probably like, really afraid because all of us are coming out here at once to multiply the chances of disaster," she smiled, earning a chuckle from her audience. "But don't worry. We all just wanted to give you a send off- sending holiday love," she looked behind her at the odd bunch, happy in spite of the stress they'd just caused her, and her heart swelled. "From our family," Remy put a hand on her shoulder. Rogue linked arms with her. "To yours."

There was a collective "Aw," as the music to "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" started up. Kitty stepped back, taking a spot next to Piotr; he placed a reassuring hand in hers. Remy slunked an arm around Rogue- and she didn't even shrug him off. Warren wrapped his arm over Betsy and she smiled sweet and bright. Bobby didn't make any jokes about Kitty singing this song even though she was Jewish. Emma stood beside Rogue without malice or intent to cause trouble. The audience forgot their trauma, if only for a moment, because they were filled with the spirit of Christmas and the holidays and joy that fills the world this time of year.

And their troubles really were miles away...

**A/N: May God bless every one of you- in this season, and all the seasons to come. And a**** Merry, Merry Christmas to you all.**


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